List form, for the quickness sake:

a) Get motivated to find a new job. They don't appreciate you, they're jerking you around about the promotion. Yes, I don't like my job either, but my job pays our bills.

b) Pay your bills. We talk about getting a house, but it's going to be ME getting the house because your credit is probably shot to hell. And because you won't get a job that pays above the poverty level. I'm thinking about ways to save up for a down payment, and it's all about how I can pay for it. How I have to budget for it and how I have to work overtime to afford it.

c) Please stop sleeping on my days off. You complain I don't spend enough time with you. You take FOUR HOUR NAPS when I'm around.

d) I can't believe that when I was sick you guilted me into going to the gym with you.

e) Just tell me what's wrong, god dammit. Don't make me ask ten times and then make me feel like an ass because I didn't ask eleven times.

f) I'm allowed to get mad, too. Or feel grumpy or sad or pissy.

g) After all this time you still don't understand that when I open a book and start reading I shut everything else out. If you really, really want my attention in the car tell me before I get three pages into something.

h) If you really, really want my attention in the car don't sleep.

I love her. I know it doesn't sound like it right now, but I do. I'm working on building a better life for us by going back to school (I've got an appointment to talk about grad school) and I've got three to five years ahead planned out.

I've got finances mapped out, what I need to do to get out of debt and build up a down payment. I've got my career mapped out, how to stay where I am, roll it over into a teaching position and not lose any of my time.

I just wish she would join me. I can't push her. I tell her I'll support whatever she wants to do, and I will. If she wants to work where she does for the rest of her life, that's fine.

She's just got to be happy doing it, and she's not. And I don't know what else to do.

I don't want to date a girl.