2005-12-28 - 9:23 p.m. I really hate living with my parents. I hate that I'm sleeping on a couch and I hate I haven't slept in a real bed except once since all of this happened. I hate that I'm kind of alone right now. I hate that will take me way too long to get into an apartment. I'm going to say, though, that by March I will be in one. I will save up and get four jobs if I have to, but I will have to be out of here by then. Tomorrow I go back down to pick up the rest of my stuff. Which really just means I'm going to pick up my bed. And I feel horrible about that. Absolutely horrible: I should have left the bed for her. She needs a place to sleep more than I do. I need to get out of here. I need to move on. I need to get three jobs. I blahblahblahblah. I've just got to remember to keep heading toward some goal. If I can stay focused long enough, I'll get to where ever I'm trying to go. So here is my next goal: Get another job. I can do anything. That, I'm sure of. I'm smart, capable, and damn hard working. I'll get dirty if it's needed of me. The only thing that could make me falter are nights. Nights when I'm sleeping alone and it feels like I'm starting all over all over again. These nights when I would have been with her. Stock market tip for all of yall: Invest in sleeping pill manufacturers. I'm running through them like crazy. previous - next