2005-12-27 - 8:17 p.m. I swing back and forth between being okay and not. When I don't think about it, things are okay. I'm planning stuff out, setting some goals for my future, feeling decent about everything. This is for the best and blahblahblah. But then I think about... it's like a part of me is gone now. This person, who I had shared everything with for almost a year and a half, is not there. I can't cal her like I used to, I can't talk to her like I used to. And right now... right now. Not a good moment. You just breathe in and breathe out and try not to get too frustrated with the situation. I know I shouldn't care anymore, that she's negated all reason for me to care, but I do. I want to know when she starts dating again. I want to know because I'm afraid it'll be soon. I want to know so I can move on better. Knowing will just be one more nail in the coffin. One more solid fact. I shouldn't care, I know, but I do. I just need to know so I can just stop wondering. previous - next