my parents called me and i talked to them for a little bit.

my mom said, "i thought about you a lot today."

i said, "yeah."

and she said, "you doing okay?"

and i said, "yeah."

then we talked about my car, which led to her saying, "you might have to break down and buy a new one."

and i said, "not if i'm really (doing what i plan on doing)"

and she said, "crayon! you're not still thinking about it, are you?"

and i said, "yes."

as a matter of fact, i just sent off my resume to different places. one in japan, one in taiwan, and one in brazil.

i'm going to keep sending out my resume to different places in different countries until something real sticks.

and i keep wondering, maybe this is part of the reason emily's pulled away. because she knows i plan on leaving, and it would just be even harder for me to be in another country.

maybe i'm just wishing.

but still. i know that if she asked me to move to arizona, i still would. without thinking.

i don't know if she ever fully realized i meant that when i said.

i'm not completely full of hot air. not all the time.

now im going to go eat.