i really like this ablum.

i had one of the best dreams i've had in a while last night.

it was filled with color and stuff i've not seen in a while and slight sexual tension and beauty.

our love, our love is all of god's money.

i think i'm finding my stride as a writer. not here, ha, you couldn't tell it here, but elsewhere.

here, i get tired of talking about how i wake up thinking of how she was, how she danced down the grocery store aisles and it made my heart beat.

thinking of how she let me listen to old michael jackson songs in the car and smiled when i got excited when man in the mirror came on.

i know there will be another girl, another heart ache, that will come along.

and if not, if emily is the one, then all this will work out and i just need to move on forward, solidly, until we're both on stable grounds.

but either way, i know this will pass.

and i know i'll be in another store with a beautiful girl who will hold my hand and make me feel like i could own the world if i wanted to.

my writing, my writing is finding itself. the voice is coming back to me and my stuff is getting stronger and he wrote back to me that i was a "very substantial writer."

and i tell emily this, just because she's the one who pushed me into this, because im writing to get away, and she said "i've always known that."

and she said "keep writing."

and i will.

i'll write.

and i'll be published, again, one day, in my own collection of short stories or poems or nonfictional essays and i'll dedicate it to her.

i'll dedicate it to the girl, the girl who gave me myself.

i'll dedicate it to kim, the girl who gave me my first love.

and i'll dedicate it to emily, the girl who danced down the aisle at kroger and gave me the world and took nothing in return.