in it she said that i give the most beautiful love.

that i shouldn't call myself a fuck up.

at times it feels as if i'm a thousand miles away from that kid she knew five years ago.

i've fallen in love three times since i met her, the first with her, and none of the ones after her have become such a part of who i am.

but maybe the problem is that the ones after her i actually dated.

i never got that chance with the girl. timing was off, for both of us, and now she's engaged.

the relationships i've started or gotten into since falling for her, i've never considered that they would come close to her.

it's never been a question in my mind. they won't.

in a way, the girl helped me to complete myself. she helped to round me out.

anyone else after that is kind of separate.

emily came closer than kim did.

i miss her, a lot.

and i'm going to try to see her this summer.

it's been too long since the last time i did.