i helped them and, somewhere along the way, there was, i suppose, some flirting.

i started grinning and they were laughing at each other and telling me stories about each other.

it ended with them inviting me out saturday.

and, you know, as cocky, modest, insecure as i can be, getting invited out by four pretty attractive women just makes the night much better.

i got home later, after two or three hours, after the four women walked out yelling at me across the building, making me grin some more.

i got home, called emily. her roommate picked up and we had this conversation:

"hi, can i speak to emily?"

"she's getting laundry right now but she said if you called to keep you on the line because she'll be back shortly."

"alright. so how are you?"

and the roommate started laughing. said "i'm doing pretty good, thanks."

"and how was your day?"

"oh, it was fine... wait, there's emily."

then emily and i began talking.

i told her about the women and she said, "so did you get hit on?"

and i said "no, i don't think so."

and she said "yes you did. they'd have been stupid not to."

she told me she wants to go somewhere with me and just tell me when people hit on me. apparently it happens enough she'd be kept busy enough by it.

the conversation changed and drifted.

earlier in the evening i had called her because i was frustrated and just wanted to listen to her. as i was venting she stopped me, mid sentence, and went into distinct detail about the scene on television. she went on for five minutes saying "and then she's like oh don't do that and he is like i will do what i want to do, jerk, stop doing that, jerk, back off."

and it made me laugh. it made me miss her.

later, during the second conversation, when i was hanging up with her, i said "i miss you."

and she said "that's good."

and i said "is that okay?"

then we got into a discussion, but she won't tell me what she wants. she said it doesn't matter and it does. she kept changing to subject and saying she was tired and needed to sleep.

so tonight, sometime, i should hear something. she should tell me if she wants me to continue missing her or if it would just be better if i never said it again, even if i feel it, even if i wake up wanting her there next to me in my bed.

we'll see.