for the last four weeks, three of those four saturdays they haven't gone to the bank.

this means that come sunday night we're out of money.

once i went to pizza hut and paid for a pizza with a hundred dollar bill just to get as many ones as possible.

this wouldn't be so bad tonight, even though we did run out of quarters two hours before close, except that tomorrow is a holiday.

which means they're going to have to make it with 569 dollars in ones and no quarters.

i know how they'll do it, they'll be all shady about it and take it from areas that shouldn't be touched, but whatever gets them through the day i guess.

i don't have to work, though, which makes me happy.

i come home after working 8 to more hours and i call emily and we talk for about an hour and she makes me laugh and listens to me and is the voice of reason within my life and i listen to her and i feel so damn useless, like i'm just sitting here.

almost as if i'm not good enough.

there are things out there i think i can't compete with in her life. there are some things out there i know i shouldn't try to compete with.

but still, it'd be nice if maybe she'd think once in a while that i could compete with it all.