and i'm thinking back to when i broke up with kim, and i don't know if it ever hit me this hard. perhaps it did, the memories are being dulled with age.

but things with emily were better. that, that i'm sure of.

she was more intense. more there. more physical.

and god if i'm not missing that these days.

it comes to me in dreams and i wake up mumbling, frustrated.

and if i ever get another chance to be with her, if i get that shot one more time, i can imagine how it will be.

how everything will come into focus on this one point, this six foot radius around us, and how i would feel so damn lucky to have her there, again, next to me, under me, on me, how i wouldn't be able to stop myself from just looking at her for a long time.

memorizing her curves and the way her body flows and her thighs and that small mole and her eyes.

in other words: