i would do it, when she was here and close enough to touch, close enough to pull into me, i would run my fingers down her neck from her jaw to her collarbone and back up again.

she would close her eyes and move into my fingers, pushing into my palm, and i would find myself cupping her neck.

kissing her.

its hard to let go when i've got all these dreams in me. all these images of the past that i want to project into the future.

we make plans for december. i ask her if i can take her here and here and here and here, and she says yes. says she wants to spend time with me.

i think she will wind up in bed with me, in december. at this rate, at least.

i think i will hear her moan against my shoulder around her teeth that are finding a slight grip in my muscle.

i think i will take her hands and place one in the dip of my back and one on my hip and tell her they're still hers, if she wants.

i think i think i think i think and it all causes little bits of needles to come flying through me.

it probably won't happen. maybe not. who's to say. i'm a charmer, she's amazing, it's a deadly combination neither one of us can resist.

except for the fact that, again, we'll be separated. for another three to five months.

but it doesn't stop the thoughts and the hopes and the remembering, does it?

it doesn't stop me from ending all our phone conversations with i miss you.

it doesn't stop me from calling her and needing her to be there to talk to.

instead, i just keep driving.

i keep moving past those wild flowers.

i keep going to different cities that sometimes feel strongly unwelcoming.