she said yes.

she said she was sorry.

she said she didnt know how upset i would be by it.

she said she was sorry.

i said i would have to think about things. i would talk to her later.

i heard her saying bye as i hung up on her.

i went to work, to talk to her in person.

i bitched her out. as much as i can bitch her out, at least. asked her what she was thinking. she knows how i feel about those guys. she said she wasnt thinking.

she was sorry. really sorry.

i told her she fucked up. big.

and she said she knew.

she said she was a bad person.

and i said no. no. because if she wasnt, i wouldnt put up with everything i do from her.

she said i shouldnt have to have anything to put up with.

i dont know how things will be from now on.

then i spent a few hours with emily.

at the very end i was talking with her, asking her if this is just for this summer.

she said it probably should be.

but she's not sure if she can go with that.

i told her things might change. she might end up hating me by august. she said she really really really really really doubts that.

i asked her if she thought it would be worth it all.

she said yes.

i want to know when she's leaving so i can count down to the day my heart's going to break, again.

i can smell her on me. her perfume, her scent.

im falling for her, yo. falling hard and deep and at the same time i'm realizing there's no damn point to anything.

you trust people and they hurt you.

you fall in love with someone, and it's never enough.

but it's not all bad. the world's not all bad.

rebekah keeps stepping forward and being there for me. she's angry about the entire situation on my behalf, which means a whole hell of a lot to me.

emily is great.

people are great.

and sometimes they're not. sometimes they hurt you and there's not much more you can do.