it started friday. when, apparently, these three guys at work had two hours of too much time on their hands.

they made this sign based off the terrorism alert colors.

the sign was something about how a friend of mine might come back to rob the theatre.

i saw it at 6, when we had a managers meating. i walked out of the office, turned to kristen, and said "that really pisses me off. im tempted to take it down."

"so am i."

"should i take it down right now?"

"yeah."

so i turned around, walked back in, and in front of the city manager, i started taking this sign down. my general manager tried stopping me.

"leave that up."

"why?"

"matt made it."

"so?"

"the only ones who'll see it are managers, it's okay."

a) all the employees walk into the office.

b) she's my friend, that wasnt cool, and it was damn pointless.

"i don't want to see it."

"fine, take it down, we'll work out an agreement later."

so i took it down and walked out of the office.

later that night my boss pulled me aside to explain why she said that. she said she didn't like the poster either, she was her friend, too, but she couldn't show emotion about it and blah blah blah.

she told me of how she was talking to matt about the friend moving, and how she needed to save boxes from work for her.

matt said "you're not saving any boxes for her."

and she said "okay."

she SAID OKAY. to someone who is below her. who won't fucking let her save boxes for someone he said is completely out of his life.

my boss said "so you save the boxes for her, okay?"

and i said "well, yeah."

i took the poster last night. put it in my trunk. left work.

i came back, today.

went into the office. matt was in it.

"did my poster get thrown away?"

"no. it's not in the building."

"where is it?"

"not in the building."

"give it back."

"no."

"where is it?"

"not in the building."

"give it back."

"nope."

"why are you doing this?"

"because."

and i walked out of the office.

i found out, soon after that, the three guys with too much time on their hands went to my car, walked around it, went to the dumpster, looking for it.

they left me notes on the dry erase board in the office.

i responded.

they left more.

i stopped responding.

and then tiffany followed me into the office.

tiffany. ive been defending her, recently. i've known her for two years. i have an admittedly soft spot for her.

she said "can i have your car keys?"

"why?"

"because im going to put a surprise in it."

"what?"

"im not telling."

she wouldnt tell me anything. i told her about the poster and about why i was really hesitant to hand out my car keys to someone, because i didnt want them getting it back.

"does it have to do with matt and brandon?"

"no, it doesn't have to do with matt and brandon."

"can i trust you tiffany?"

"yes."

so i gave her my keys. because she said i could trust her.

she came back, later, and told me i couldn't see it until she left. that i would laugh at it.

and i figured it had something to do with my birthday or something goofy or whatever.

after close, after she left, i started off to see my car.

kim had shown up, and so she went to see it.

rebekah and james went to see it.

i turned back to get emily to go with me to see it.

i walked out of the fire escape with emily.

rebekah and james and kim were standing at the end of the sidewalk. kim said "you're not going to like this."

and i thought, okay. tiffany saran wrapped my car. that's cool.

and i walked to the edge.

and stopped.

they had toilet papered my car.

rolled it.

i thought shit. she let them take the poster.

so i went to the trunk and popped it.

they had taken the poster.

the three of them just stood on the sidewalk, ten feet away.

i walked around my car and walked off.

squatted.

my heart, yall, my heart kind of broke right then.

and it's still breaking a little.

i trusted tiffany.

and its such a fucking small, petty thing. me defending a friend led to me, most likely, losing another friend.

unless tiffany can explain all of this to me. explain to me that she didnt know, really, even though i asked if i could trust her.

emily came to me.

asked me if i was okay.

rebekah came up. said that she was sorry, that it was bad.

it's not even that they toilet papered my car.

it's not so much that they took the god damn poster.

it's that tiffany broke my trust.

it's that there's nothing i can do about it now.

it's that matt marked me off the schedule tomorrow night and there's shit i can do about it.

it's that the boss will back matt and not me.

it's that kim disappeared and didnt bother making sure i was okay.

it's that tiffany asked emily to get my keys. and i would've given them to emily, without thinking.

but emily said no.

it ruined my night.

and there are people i need to talk to about this.

rebekah, again.

kim, to fucking begin with. what a great friend she was right then eh.

and tiffany.

yet another girl who broke my heart.

emily, though. emily. god love her. she was worried about me. she looked at me and her eyes were sad and i realized i'm not used to that.

i'm not used to someone worrying about me. to someone actually listening to me. wanting to listen and make it better and she held me.

i had so few moments like that when i was with kim.

and rebekah was worried about me. and she won't ever, probably, let me defend tiffany to her.

and so it's torn me down slightly, but then it's brought these other forces forward.

dammit tiffany.

im going to go back out to my car, soon, and look in my trunk, again.

in the damn chance that she actually didnt give them my keys. that the poster is actually there.

that she just did a shitty job of rolling my car.

but it wont be there. again.

and my heart will break, again.