a house, out of the suburbs, back away from the road, with light coming through the windows and a slight cooling breeze.

being in a separate room as her.

she, in the kitchen, fixing up a light lunch while i finish some work. typing up this and that.

the smell of cucumber finding me.

getting up, walking through the halls barefoot.

seeing her, there, back to me. music playing.

some classic. frank sinatra, maybe. beatles, even.

putting my arms around her.

listen:

i want to know what that air feels like, in my lungs.

i want to inhale and feel it in me, moving down my backbone, tickling my kidneys, making me tense in the center of me and relax slightly as it fills my toes.

i want to lay on my stomach on that land.

i want to know what the sky looks like, how blue it can get right before twilight, and how the stars shine at night.

i want that memory in me so that, once she's there, i can know what she's feeling, slightly.

im getting contacts, again, soon. and im getting a hair cut, again, soon.

tomorrow im dressing up nice, for emily.

make her heart melt and what not.

for right now, though, im going to go clean myself up. shave a little. see if maybe anyone in my family is any good at cutting hair.

i told kim emily said she would be mad if i shaved my hair off. kim said she would be mad too.

so no shaving of the head.

but it does need to get cut. i feel shaggy.

and slightly dirty.