i took her home, because her car broke down in the parking lot.

on the way home, i kept telling her how much i liked her, because every time i said it, she would smile and say "ah, that kills me."

and it was so good seeing her smile when i knew she was worried and making her happy.

so i finally said "okay, should i say something else?"

"oh. should you?"

"i dont know. i mean, do you want to hear it?"

"i'll listen to it, yeah."

"there have been a couple of times recently where i've really wanted to kiss you."

"really?"

"yeah."

and then the conversation shifted.

and we were sitting outside of her house.

and i started brushing the back of her hand with the back of my hand and she said "ah, that kills me, too."

and i was really confused for a second.

i thought she meant the song that came on. so i said "what does?"

"your hand."

"you like this?" while still brushing her hand.

"yeah."

and i moved and slipped my hand into hers.

i told her i was nervous about sunday. she was surprised and asked why. i said "because i have this great capacity to... uh, be a dork." and she laughed hard.

and dammit, i really like that about her. that she laughs at my dorkdom.

so sitting outside of her house with my hand in hers i asked her if i could kiss her.

and she said yes.

so i kissed her.

indeed.

and, just to let you fine people know, i am grinning right now, just thinking about it.

i talked to her best friend today. they've been in a weird place lately, not talking to each other, because of different perceptions of a situation.

i realized, today, that things are also changing between her best friend and me.

we're friends, fairly decent friends. but now it's becoming different because i'm becoming a part of her best friend's life.

emily, tonight, told me that there is someone who really wants to meet me.

and i dont think she has any idea how much it... how weird it is for me to think that emily is telling something about me to someone else. something so good that now they want to meet me.

how weird it is for me to think... she really likes me.

weird in a completely wonderful way.

we were working today, and at one point today i was talking with a customer and i was in a really good spot and a really good rhythm and the customer was reacting to me and we had this whole dialouge going on and i looked over and emily was bent over, laughing at us.

it was so great.

i really like saying her name. i dont know why.

she likes me.

she likes me.

it seems so weird. she actually likes me.

she smiles when i tell her i like her. when i tell her i like being able to say i like her.

she kissed me.

when she got out of the car tonight she crouched down and said "oh crayon." and then stood up quickly and shut my door and walked away.

i like her. a lot.

she kissed me.

ah.