i want a powerful, passionate woman.

someone who could stand on her own. who has her beliefs, but is open to listening and maybe changing.

i keep thinking about emily. about how i want to go up to her and ask to spend as much time as possible with her between now and when she leaves for arizona.

i want to know what all has happened to her over her life. what led her to being her, now, here.

i'd lost my love of people there for a while.

and it's slowly coming back.

there are times when i want to inhale people. to inject themselves into me.

because they're so great, they have this amazing personality, this great sense of humor, they're just... themselves.

effortlessly.

or, maybe not so effortlessly, because we've all got our problems, our self doubts.

but effortlessly in the aspect that they won't change themselves for anyone, much less me.

this past weekend, other than that stupid fight with kim and the stupid argument at work, i was more like my old self than i have been in a while.

or, at least, what i want myself to be.

i was making people laugh hard and i was smiling and they were smiling and the world was open again.

i am hungry.

so i am going to eat corn. or maybe peas. or maybe pudding in a tube.

the world is turning around, yo.

it just gonna take time.

a whole lot of precious time, its gonna take patience and time to do it, to do it, to do it right, to do it right child.

cause i got my mind set on you, i got my mind set on you. i got my mind set on you.

george harrison was right.