ever have those moments?

had one today.

but shes so young. or she seems so young. everyone seems so young.

and i honestly can't remember what she did, today, that made her different.

i had a good day.

didnt work with kim. so there was none of that weird oddness.

worked with people i really enjoy.

a new employee came in. i worked with her for a while.

im not going to go through all my day, however, even though it was a really good day.

ill sum it up quickly with the big stuff:

the girl i've started looking at differently was following me to a bowling alley. the person i was following missed her turn, stopped weirdly, i stopped quickly.

the girl behind me hit me. hit my car.

i pulled over, got out.

she was freaked out mildly. worried about what would happen.

its just a damn car, i didnt worry about insurance or that shit. she was worried about what her dad would say.

we ended up following her to her house, i talked to her dad.

she was still nervous, after her dad went back inside. i stayed around till about 1230, outside, talking with her. making her laugh.

we saw some foxes. a mama fox, baby foxes. she pointed out how helicopters (the seed things) were flying over the trees in the wind, being lit by the streetlamp.

she finally said she was good, okay, not feeling like she was going to throw up. went inside.

i came home.

she makes me laugh. she gets embarrassed easily. she's seen weird movies ive seen. i made some kind of weird language joke (not a pun or anything) and she laughed at it because she got it.

shes not like kim.

shes a cynic. but she smiles too easily for me to believe that, fully.

so i found myself wondering, today, if i could see myself spending time alone with her. riding in her car with her to nowhere, talking.

and i can.

and still, dammit, still, in the back of my head, i was comparing her to kim. about how if i hug her, she would be different. how her body type's different. how this and that.

and i dont want that. i dont want to compare people to kim.

no one will compare to kim, i know this. i dont want anyone who compares to kim.

i want someone who's different than kim. not any less than she is, but different.

someone who i can trust.

i dont know. i dont know.