i believe ive been flirted with. however, because i am dense, i would like some feedback, so that, in the future, if i get this feeling again, i might realize, hey, she's flirting with me. or maybe, with your guidance, i might realize, hey, im just dellusional.

so i went into this shoe store to buy shoes for the wedding saturday.

when i came up to the counter, i was half distracted, looking down, and the woman ringing me up said, "cute shirt."

the shirt i was wearing was at least four years old. it had this picture of the tick on it that's all faded and parts of it are missing from going through the wash too often. the only reason i wore it was because i needed something clean to wear.

when i looked up to thank her, she was looking me in the eyes.

now, i didnt think till after i had walked outside of the building that maybe, just maybe, she was hitting on me. slightly. a bit.

and now im kind of half tempted to go back and buy shoes i dont need.

and woe is me if all it was was a ploy for buy one pair get one pair half off sale. because if it was, i might be falling for it.

which means: producers, to get this consumer to buy twice as many products as reasonable, just have a cute girl with a really nice smile compliment me in a vague way.

to the readers: could i get some outside opinion on this? should i take it as a possible flirt and boost of the ego or accept it for the cunning ploy it probably was?

onto other things.

there have been only two dreams where i've known, in my dream, that i was going to die.

and im not talking the whole there's a murderer after me, im cornered naked and wet and im going to die, type of dream.

im fairly sure i wrote about the first time i had that dream sometime in here.

the second dream happened last night.

this is more for my benefit than your enjoyment. im going to switch around some, between the dream and what i know is real, just to clarify some points in my head.

somehow i knew that my sister was going to be hit by a car and die. i knew that. she was walking in the road, near the curb, bouncing a ball.

i know the actual place that this dream was occurring. the road's down the street from where i grew up. there are no sidewalks there, so its reasonable for a little kid to be walking in the road, bouncing a ball.

instead of making her get into the grass, i just walked on the other side of her, intending to block her from cars in case one really did hit her. if nothing else, maybe i could throw her out of harms way.

i turned around and walked backwards a few steps, talking to someone behind us. when i started to turn forward, i saw, out of the corner of my eye, a jeep coming.

i turned back around, picked my sister up, but before i could throw her, the car was hitting me.

the car hit me flush, and as i was going up onto the hood, i lost hold of my sister. she started to slip down, and i saw her go under the car. my elbow hit the hood and i thought, really clearly, that if i got far enough up the hood, my body be damned i was going through that glass to hit the driver.

i didnt make it. i made it about halfway up. thats when i went blind. then i felt myself going off the hood and hitting the pavement.

i remember thinking about my sister, hoping she was okay. i remember hearing people around me. i remember thinking i should open my eyes but i couldnt, that i needed to open my eyes, stand up, walk away, be okay. that was what i was supposed to do. what people needed me to do.

but i couldnt.

i just remember sinking into myself, a little.

and then i woke up.