in the last few months all it has been is snow storms or rain storms. no lightning with the accompanying thunder.

i was leaving work around 1 with kim, because kim was freaking out because of the storm.

kim told me to be safe on my ride home, and i said i wasnt going home. i had stuff to think about.

i still have stuff to think about.

she finally decide to brave the rain and ran to her car.

i sat down on the ground, with my back against the front doors of work, watching the storm, thinking.

the bottom of my pants got soaked.

then a moth flew out of nowhere, hit my knee, and tumbled onto the pavement.

his wings were being drug down due to the weight of the rain drops crashing down on him.

i picked him up and let him dry off on my hand. he tried flying again, but a rain drop knocked him down.

i picked him up again. decided to take him to a tree, so he could be around nature, find a leaf to hide under.

walked through the storm across the parking lot to the line of trees. my shirt was soaked by the time i got to the tree.

i will now take a moment to let the image of me in a wet tshirt pass through your mind. yes, i'm hot. yes, you want to lick the rain drops off my stomach. yes, i know. you done yet?

no? okay.

a moment more.

alright.

i realized, once i got to the tree, that it wouldnt work. he wouldnt dry off at all there.

so i turned around, and the moth flew, then dived right into a puddle. i picked him up, took him into my car, placed him on my dashboard.

the moth flapped his wings, trying to get the last of the water off, and i drove home with my dome light on, letting the moth have a goal.

once i got home, the moth had disappeared. i found him hidden underneath the dashboard. he wouldn't come out, so i left him there.

this morning i went to go to work, and he was sitting on my floor mat. i was afraid he was dead, but he wasnt.

i picked him up and placed him in the dry grass. got in my car, drove away.

this afternoon, at work, i quit. i walked out and keia came running out behind me. she said to me not to quit, that she's not ready for me to go, give it time. take a vacation. dont let kim get to me so much.

a lot of other stuff happened. the fact kim wouldnt come out to talk to me because she thought (and still thinks) it was a bluff. the fact that kim told keia to tell me not to talk to her for a week. but that i shouldnt quit.

the fact that after everything that happened, how angry i was, and how violent i got in my car toward nothing in particular other than my car, kim and i still went out bowling together tonight.

we took friends with us. there were seven of us, total.

we went out because kim had nothing to do tonight and i got off work early.

this leads me to a couple of conclusions.

a) i'm a damn dork.

b) kim is completely crazy and deals with her problems by ignoring them until they work themselves out.

c) i can't handle shit like that. i need to talk it all out till i've repeated everything ten times.

d) if kim fucks this up again, one day she's going to wake up and regret that i'm not there in her life.

e) i'm hot. just because.

f) there's still hope for a friendship.

i need to thank keia, somehow. she's the only reason i came back into work. i was sitting in my car, and she convinced me to stay.

i've always known that when i quit, keia's quitting, too.

this is longer than i meant it to be.

i just wanted to record some stuff down so that, in the future, when kim is crazy again, ill be able to kick myself in the ass and say see. you knew it.