i happened to glance in my mirror.

seeing as how it was late at night, it was dark. all i could see were the headlights of this 18 wheeler. and smack dab in the middle of the headlights, right in the grill, was a lit cross.

lordy be did it make me laugh!

all i could think about was how reassuring it would be if, right before your car was plowed into from behind, sending you into a coma which, three years later you awaken from not being able to feel from your eyebrows down, you saw that little cross just lighting up your rearview mirror. cause, you know, jesus saves.

i ran into my old roommate tonight. the old roommate is married. I FEEL OLD.

a bunch of my friends are getting married. some are already divorced.

my parents were married at my age.

if i followed their timeline, i would have a kid in FIVE YEARS.

sweet mother above, im at this middle line where i am getting to become a real adult, but i still feel so so so so young.

you know what i own, kitchen wise?

a microwave and a POT.

a pot, people. not pots, not a pan. not even forks or spoons. just a pot.

oh, and a measuring cup. because i am crazy.

and i think, and know, that if i had my own apartment, things would, you know, would be different.

i'd have a sofa. i'd have plates.

a bookcase.

a real lamp.

you know, grown up stuff: cups.

but all these people around me, my age, are making these life commitments. theyre planning their futures together and seeing little kids in their minds eye.

im unprepared for the real world.