i really want a "normal" relationship.

i work with this guy, matt. he dates this great girl. he's been dating her for two years, give or take.

he can just call her up. she can just come on over. if he's hungry, he'll call and ask if she'd get him something to eat.

they talk on the phone.

they see each other.

when she comes and visits him at work, the first thing out of her mouth isn't "i've got to go."

they spend time together.

then there's kim and me.

i know they've got their problems and all.

but i want that. i want to be able to just call kim up. i want to be able to just have her come visit me.

i want to be able to go get her food when she's hungry.

once, when kim and i were just becoming friends, i got to eat at her house. her mom made meatloaf.

i want to eat that meatloaf again.

but her mom hates me.

and so all i can do is wait. and hope.

and maybe one day will really happen, maybe it'll even be soon.

maybe we won't get frustrated enough to end it.

maybe.