soon, sooner than back a few years ago, at least, im going to have to make some serious decisions.

i know what i want and what i want to do. right now, at least, i have plans that i'd like to go through with.

but i've realized, today, thats there's only a certain extent i can think about my future.

up to maybe three years, i can set myself on a path with a goal.

after that, i cant figure anything out, because there are too many what ifs.

what if im still with kim.

what if i need to go somewhere else to follow through with what i want to do.

what if i become a manager.

what if this and what if that.

and as unsteady, ungrounded as that has left me, it's still great.

because i cant plan my future without knowing if its our future.

and if its our future, then i cant plan it without her.