which means i need to find someone with a car who wants to shop.

im such a lazy punk bum.

my mind keeps flashing back to moments with kim.

i want to feel her hands on my back, searching, pulling me closer to her, again.

i want to look into her eyes and hope she sees what i'm still too scared to say to her.

i asked her if anyone else told her how great she was.

no one does.

no one.

i told her that was wrong, that more people should.

she was laying on me on a couch.

"do you know about heart muscle, kim?"

she turned slightly, so she could rest her chin on my chest and look at me.

"no. what about heart muscle?"

"you can take two separate pieces of heart muscle and lay them on separate dishes, apart from each other. you can run electricity through them, impluses, and they'll beat. they'll beat in different times and everything. but if you move these two separate heart muscles close enough to each other, even if they're beating way out of whack with each other, they'll begin to beat in time together. heart muscle, close enough, will beat in time together."

she laid there, quiet. looking at me. i traced the side of her face.

"and thats heart muscle for you, kim."

she laughed a little, then moved.

resting her cheek on my chest so she could watch tv.