and it is weird because i havent worn this in a while and so it is tight and just all dressed up and i just dont know what to do with my hair!

my head feels like itll explode!

heh.

no.

after the wedding, and some of the reception (my dad doesnt want to stay long) i will go and pick kim up from work.

and spend a few hours in secret with her.

i dont know what we'll do.

i want to take her to the park, or a park, but it's been raining.

we're official, kim and i, now. from her mouth. we are.

and im smiling, even just thinking about it.

her.

im hoping my family from florida is up for the wedding. i'm not going to ask, i'm going to wait and either be surprised or slightly heartbroken by the fact that they are. or arent. here.

if they are, i might just have to tell robyn about kim. because i want robyn to know.

to know me more.

i really want to leave, to go to the wedding, to see family. to keep moving forward, collecting memories.

at work yesterday i moved and could smell her, though she wasnt there.

and it was good and nice and everything.

the closer you come the weaker i get, if it aint happened now it just aint happened yet.

which somehow reminds me of the dream i had.

i was in a play. acting. we had already made it through the first half, we were coming back from intermission, and i realized i had completely forgotten my lines.

and i knew it wouldnt be a problem, as long as someone could tell me my first line, or as long as i could glance at a script.

and i wasnt freaking out or anything. not very nervous. just wanted to know.

no one could tell me.

no one had a script.

my cue came. and i walked out on stage.

just so yall know, i was the lead, or one of the leads. so it was a big thing that, you know, I DIDNT REMEMBER MY LINES.

and as i walked out there, i knocked over a flat.

but remembered to act like it was part of the play.

then the scene ended and we had another quick intermission so that people could regroup.

i dont remember much more of the dream.

i woke up a minute before my alarm clock went off.

ok. i need to go get completely ready for the wedding. im pretty sure im missing something, just because its weird for me to be ready so soon.

yep.