looks like, after all, i wont be going to florida.

so. i really don't want to talk about it right now, because i dont know, exactly, what is going on.

if or if no.

i washed my dog today. shirtless and everything.

uh, i was shirtless. the dog was too, but i thought that was pretty much a given.

but when i wash the dog, its an event. because i have to carry this 17 year old border collie mutt up two different flight of stairs, set him in the tub, and wash him.

and he's good about it, once i get him settled. except i cant move him, so i have to get in the tub with him.

so i go in barely clothed.

i trimmed his hair, after i was done.

cause im so good to my dogs and all, right.

damn.

im just.

all sadly heartbroken, even though i probably shouldnt be, right? because its not like i had already bought the tickets, and its not like shes told me it really is impossible, and theres still maybe hope.

all depending.

just. dammit.

i hate this.

fuck.

going to go. and read. always with the book.