i slept with my head not more than a foot away from a phone. if it had been further away i would not have answered.

too much work to get up.

i woke up around 11. hiccups did it, i think. followed by letting the dog out, feeding the fish and the cat, letting the dog back in.

i drank water to calm the hiccups. went back to sleep.

the phone rang. i woke up. thought about not answering it. it rang again. remembered about work. i answered it.

"can i speak to crayon?"

"speaking."

"hey, its jennifer."

a long long mental pause. quickly running through the jennifers i know. the jennifers who wouldnt call, the jennifers who became addicts, the jennifers who would call but not today, jennifer. jennifer.

maybe i was expecting it to be a jennifer connected with work. "hey, its jennifer from ."

but nope. a pause, and i finally settled on jennifer.

jennifer, the girl who made me comfortable without trying. the girl who i can fall asleep near without thinking.

i think she heard my smile.

she was inviting me to a cook out.

but i cant go. because of work. because i dont know if i work tonight.

because.

however, now, just thinking, if she called me up again, and could prove to me that kat would be, that kat had agreed, i would go.

without much hesitating.

i would go just to look at her again.

to smell her again.

to hug her again.

and all this while the girl is inviting me to florida. for five days. alone, with her.

and i know.

with no hesitating anymore.

that kat is physical. kat is a warm blanket wrapped around me.

but the girl. the girl is not needing a warm blanket. the girl is a liquid warmth spread inside after stretching while yawning. a happiness. a click.

on the tree out back there are three nubs. one right after another. one has flattened out, with time.

and another is almost flat.

the third will catch time, too.

i imagine the beach in florida. explaining. taking the girl by the hand. leading her to the sand. picking up a stick.

watch, i say, watch. i draw a shape. an oval. missing a piece. i draw the missing piece.

that is you. look, that missing piece is you.

and that, the other, the almost oval, is me.

this is how you fit into me. this is how i am complete, because of you.