but briefly:

i continue to think about kat. about how she called me open but hesitant and how, now, i read into that.

as i am prone to do.

is this meaning she wants me to make a move? to stop being so damn hesitating?

ive moved and shes stayed in the same place and i miss her. i miss her as a friend, but i also miss her, now, because there might have actually been something there. something we both were skirting around because we both were shy.

so now my day is filled with thoughts of her. her deep darkly colored smooth skin. her eyes. how easily i can touch her. how so many times i wanted to just kiss her, but i didnt.

and these thoughts came flooding back because she opened a door i thought was closed.

i... i find it, honestly, hard to believe that she could be attracted to me. she is kat, i am crayon. she is beautiful, i am clumsy. she knows how to charm, i flop around and people find that enchanting, somehow.

she is kat, i am crayon. yet i am so tempted to woo her. her birthday is in 2 months and some days, and im already planning out some shit to do, even if we're nothing more than friends.

flowers on her pillow, food in her fridge. little things that would mean something to her, just because i remembered, you know?

so far.

so far.

so far my innate sense of balance has kept me from falling into you. but now i feel myself wanting to lose to gravity.