going through four states will do that to you, i believe.

i left saturday, so i missed mothers day.

which means i also missed decoration day.

i think that is what it is called. where we go out to the graveyard and make sure things are good and replace flowers and a preacher preachs.

this is the first time in eight years i've missed it.

called my mom, after church.

church was amazing. i'm not religious, not a christian or such, but we went. this methiodist church, all black, in the deep south.

they really got into it, the preacher almost cried. i almost cried.

women are beautiful.

i was told, thursday night, that i was open but hesitant. that i had this ability to be really open and sharing, but then i could close it off quickly, and become distant. that my greatest gift was compassion. and my writing. that i was creative and eccentric. that i had matured a lot in this past year.

i write this not to impress you, but to remember it myself.

that there are people out there who believe this about me.

i need to call barbara. let her know i am back in town. i'm waiting for kat to call me, so i know when i can see her next. i will go see two good friends graduate today. i will go with my sister, because these friends are the kind that adopt younger sisters. they adopted her, and a part of me is eased because of this.

i need to talk to the girl, above all.

i need to find jenai.

i need to find a job.

i'm smiling, yall. this past week has been amazing for me.

however, i have now made a promise. whenever i leave town, whenever it comes i cant talk to the girl through email or whatever, i will call her.

so much happened to her this past week, and i was not there for her.

i was not there.