last few days we've been talking some.

i told her, today, that my stomach has started hurting me again, like it did back in august. but that i can still eat, so that's good. that it hurts the most right when i wake up. and comes and goes.

said it light heartedly, so she's not worried, but at least she knows.

dear diary, be proud for i took a razor to my scruffy self today.

i keep running my hand alongside the skin, getting a kick out of it.

not that i was hairy to begin with, not really, its just now... i'm not.

all is left now is for me to clip my fingernails and i will be able to be presented to any mother.

heh.

i had three dreams last night. i wont tell you any of them. i will tell you, though, that one dream had the girl first turn into an otter and then some other animal with a big head.

i never felt the earth move honey until you shook my tree.

someone should woo me, dammit.

talking to the friend, last night, after she told me i missed my chance, i said that'll probably cost me a few good women, waiting too long and such. and she said yes, im a slow mover.

part of that, however, is that i cant really believe someone im interested in would be interested in me.

but yes, i know im one hell of a catch.

if only because i am really modest.

20 more days until my birthday.

i decided, last night, i really didnt want anything for my birthday.

i mean, yes, there are things i want:

the complete collection of ee cummings work, for example.

car parts so as i could work on the bronco.

but i dont want people to go out of their way searching for stuff for me. just a card with a personalized note will be enough for.

i say all this, and secretly what i really really want is a little letter from the girl.

if that was all i got i would be serenly happy.

i saw a spiderman costume today. i almost bought it.

almost because i have no money.

and because i have no money, that means i need to find another job.

oh oh oh, good news in the mail yesterday:

my writing is, apparently, still good.

we'll leave it at that.

now i leave.

yall smile for me.

fly a kite.