good golly moses! said the newspaper ad and i laughed and cut it out.

i will paste it to something and send the something to the girl.

to make her smile.

she says i am one of the rare people who can really get her to smile.

i went to my sisters softball game today. i sat in the dug out, because they needed someone to keep the book for them.

jackie sat next to me.

i love jackie.

she is six years younger than me.

which makes me feel old.

this past summer i was in a bad mood and left. she was the only one who followed me. who sat and talked with me until i was ready to go back.

which makes me ready to do anything for her.

i was talking with her about my hair. she thought i did something to it, i said i dyed it a while back, and susan looked at me said youre on a diet and i said no no, my hair, i dyed it.

oh, she said. because i was thinking good god crayon, you are tiny.

and i am tiny.

i want to dye my hair again. some not natural color.

i need to get it cut, too. it is past my collar. maybe trim it back to my collar.

heh.

i dont like having short hair.

i like looking scruffy.

scruffy.

i will name my puppy scruffy.

when i get my puppy.

which will be years down the line.

too long.

i stayed the night at the parents, last night. my cat was there.

i miss my cat.

i whistled, and the cat came running into my room. i whistled again, pointed to my bed, he jumped up.

i petted him for the first time in what seems forever.

he followed me around.

when i finally left he was curled up in my covers in the middle of my bed.

i make my mom keep the old bedroom door open so the cat can come in.

right before i left i was going to go to the library. i was standing by the car, talking to the parents, and across the yard i saw two of the next door kids standing, watching me.

i miss them, too.

i've seen them grow up. hell, i remember the youngest coming home from the hospital.

i dont want to wait in vain for your love. i dont want to wait in vain for your love.

i am going camping saturday night.

summer is here and im still waiting there. winter is near and im still waiting there.

tomorrow martine and i will celebrate our birthdays. twenty days early, yes. and we will celebrate at chuck e cheese.

and i will leave yall with that image.

smile for me.