traditional star a little off center below my wrist. green and black.

i bled. enough to soak through the little guaze padding he gave me.

i hurt the girl last night.

i dont know what im doing. i dont know what shes doing.

tonight, when i finally return home (which will probably be around 11 or midnight), im going to sit down and write a long ass email to her.

a mini-epic.

i'm fucking up left and right yo.

its hard for me to sleep at night. i keep thinking and thinking and thinking.

im worried about me. others are worried about me. but i cant take a break, nothing longer than a two day weekend, for a while.

long as im not alone im alright. which is why i wont get home, tonight, until nearing midnight. thatll give me just enough time to shower, check up on email and people, and crash, giving me five hours of sleep.

72 hours i have slept 14 hours. if i was an average person i would be missing 10 hours of sleep. a little over a night of sleep. and im not average: i tend to need more than 8 hours a night to be well rested.

this is making me short tempered, im not watching what im saying, im being brash and everything that comes with it and because its coming from me it hurts people even more.

because it never comes from me.

so it must be bigger than it really is, right?

all it is is me overreacting.

i have a hard time understanding the concept of permanent.