not only did she almost moon me today for making fun of her, she went on and on about how, in high school, she was the greatest mimer. EV-ER.

she was getting antsy, really wanted to leave, and she also wanted to fling her pen out of the office, into the hall, and hit someone.

she finally flung the pen, but there was no one around to hit.

ah, and before she left for her third trip to the "bathroom" she said "have you met lust, love's slutty cousin?"

"what?"

"have you met lust, love's slutty cousin?"

"uhh." see, i couldnt hear her well. no, i could, but i wasnt sure i was hearing her right.

"lust is love's slutty cousin. and you know how you can tell the difference? love wears panties, lust puts the panties in the pockets."

and i was left laughing my damn fool ass head off at the randomness of that.

i think she saw something in my eyes. wink wink nudge nudge.

i was doing an errand for work, i had to hand deliver something, but the lady had stepped out of her office. so i sort of wandered down the hall, found a secetary, asked if she knew when suchandsuch would be back.

she had no idea. i told her my problem. i had to hand deliver something to someone who wasnt there. and i really didnt want to wait around long.

so she said that i could leave it with her, and that she would give it to suchandsuch. so i start handing it over, then i stop, say "i can trust you, right?"

and the grin that broke across her face, it was great.

i think my size, or lack thereof, lets me get away with a lot of comments like that. especially with women. they think i'm all cute because my hands are "light and childlike" and blah blah blah. and guys dont take it bad because im nonthreatening.

i think its wrong that i can have a hundred dollars in my billfold in my pocket and not feel weighed down by it. its just sitting there and i dont really notice it.

i should be aware of every second that i have it. it should haunt me as im shelling out the money to pay for book after book after book. and maybe a cd or two.

and a tattoo tonight. martine and i finally worked out a little agreement on when we could meet.

im get the green star of death and mayhem and moldy bread (i have to say it like that, otherwise im all "im getting a star." "oh.") right below where my watch is.

now i must eat free food.

im kind of late for that.