but for you i would take one seed, any seed given to me, and i would find the richest blackest soil.

i would cup this soil in my hands as i dropped to me knees.

and in this soil in my hands i would have the seed placed.

for you i would hold this soil with this seed until a flower bloomed.

the petals. stamen. pistil.

pollen.

roots tickling my palms.

i would grow this flower for you.

if you would only let me.

put your hands here. tell me you cant feel that beating in me.

tell me you dont know that i love you unconditionally. and you dont know that scares the hell out of me. you dont know that ive forgiven you everything and cant imagine you forgiving me anything.

feel that heat.

i have cried for you. fat warm tears that slid down my cheeks only to be wiped away by the back of my hands.

i have cried late at night at the things ive revealed to you. afraid that now, now you know this. and i have lost you.

i have cried late at night at the things you did not say but that i knew. that that bastard made you feel ugly and fat.

just feel that heat in me.

and know, god, know that it will always remain.

unquestioning.