the only difference is you cant package this stuff buddy.

tomorrow, which is the 24th, and i dont know why i included that bit of information, i am going to take my sister and my twelve year old cousin, jessica, out to see some christmas lights at this big ol christmas light deal place.

awww yeah buddy. i am the greatest.

you know you want me.

im too sexy for my shirt so sexxxyyy ittt huurrts.

and to think, a few hours ao i was so sleepy and mumbly people just said what? over and over again as i talked.

ok, my dad bought ketchup that has no salt. not salt. its all... sweet tasting.

and just wrong. wrong. wrong.

im in a good mood yo.

uhm, i just got a call from becca. theres a party tomorrow night, but seeing as how i plan to spend a lot of the evening with the cousin and the sister, i cant go.

but it impressed becca. so heh, yeah.

so saturday we're getting together, eating breakfast at a bagel place.

and, yeah, im not a big breakfast person. nor have i ever been to this bagel place, so we shall see.

i called her earlier tonight. she had gone for a walk. her mom talked to me for a little bit, asked how i was.

as i say, parents love me.

but, yeah, when she called i sat at the edge and talked with her. all of a sudden there was this thump thump thump thump thumping slowly getting louder behind her. she doesnt mention it, i finally break and ask what the hell it was.

except not like that.

she laughed, said it was a helicopter. going to the hospital. she said she was outside. then she said no, they're attacking. we're down.

she said it plainly. like she was giving me directions.

she talked to me about her walk, about how her cheeks felt cold, about how she loves this weather. about the food she ate, the pies, everything.

the thing with the kid is you know she enjoys things. and that she shares this enjoyment with everyone. but you cant help but feel special when she does it with you.

she once wrote me a little thing. told me the thing she likes the most about me was the fact that i take the time to watch. but then she told me to join in once in a while.

and as all this happens, the girl... i dont know yo. i have no idea what the girl is doing. she's home. thats all i know. and that stings. but thats a whole chicken pot pie of crazy.

and i know she doesnt want it to be this way. nor do i. just dont know what more to do.

moving on.

when i eat it can be damn ugly sometimes. im not worried about mess, im not worried about how i look. its all about the tasting right then and devouring and the juices.

im going to take a shower in a moment. in the dark. and just feel.

feel and think and conclude. settle more.

ill be back. with various subjects. and ill be singing.

cha cha cha... ooh la la.

if you think im sexy and you want my body cmon baby let me know.