i had a dream last night. my mom told me i had an older sister. she said it like it was nothing new. like, yeah, everyone knew that. so i made it my mission to find her.

this isnt the first time ive had a dream where ive had an older sister.

the one i remember most i was sitting at a kitchen table, eating with the family, and all of a sudden i remembered her. i remembered laughing with her and what have you.

it was real.

my mom had two miscarriages before she had me. one of them was that sister. i have no doubt i would have been damn different had i had an older sister. fighting the battles the eldest born fights, showing me the ropes.

so, yeah, i wish i had an older sibling sometimes. but its those battles i fought that gave me the fire in me i have now.

and i'd much rather have the mistakes my parents made have happened to me, like they did, then happen to someone else. so yeah.

its almost thanksgiving. im gettin all excited yo.

becca's comin down.

my foots falling asleep.

im thinkin of takin a shower soon enough.

oh, my mom was kind of upset at my hair cut. but hey, hair grows back. my dad just asked me who cut it. and the sister didnt say anything either way.

dont bite the mailman.