we both know that im not that kid i was. not as naive but at the same time not as hard.

im much more open about a lot of things but then again im much more secretive about this and that.

and you know.

we both know.

i dream of sand sometimes. did you know that?

i dream of the ocean and how when i was four and we were there i got out of the bed, in the middle of the night, and stood at the balcony door to watch the people and the sand and the water.

the moon.

i still remember that. i still remember knowing that i wanted to be out there with the sand under my feet in the night.

even at that young an age i knew that i belonged outside at night, feeling something under my feet, be it the sand or the grass or even pavement.

ive never felt sand under my feet in the night. not by the ocean, at least.

ask me how i am, now.

and i think... when was then... but i dont ask.

because i dont want to be reminded of then.

ive become stale.

not crusty. not yet. but stale.

im sorry.