writing.

i saw another butterfly today. the count has now risen to 4.

i need to finish up the tape im making. got one side done and im not even past the third cd. ive got... 3 more to go.

time to tell you about my dream:

i was driving, by myself, up the big road in the hometown. i was going to my dad's apartment, you see.

in actuality my parents are still together, happy for the main part.

but, yes, i was going to my dad's apartment, from my mom's, and i was speeding.

i see up at the intersection the light's yellow, but i know i have too much speed to stop in time, so i switch lanes, to the right lane, so i could take the yield turn onto the other road.

as i hit the brakes slightly to get in the other lane the car speeds up.

i realize im in trouble. i take the turn too fast, i hit the break, makes the car go a little faster, i swing out to the other lane, on coming traffic.

i close my eyes. i think, yeah, i knew this was going to happen. maybe it wont be so bad.

and another car hits me head on.

it goes silent.

i cant feel anything.

i see a picture of my dad.

i open my eyes and the car is in mid air. i close them again.

i feel, more than hear, and see inside more than visual actualness, the car going through the window and such of the ihop.

and im alright.

at least, my mind is, and i have no real pain.

and all the while all the while im thinking yeah this is how it was supposed to happen.

and im alright.

then i woke up.