but, cmon, if it comes to the point where you need to go on a tv show and date someone else to see if your relationship is what you really want... thats... not what you want, not anymore.

i live near a stadium. the lights are on right now. yeah.

im going to be dead tomorrow night. grr.

yeah, its not odd/awkward/anything between the girl and i. makes me smile.

but now i must move on.

change of heart. thats the show.

i watch the worst shows. im going to change it now.

watch as my muscles ripple as i lean forward and balance myself on one hand and ease ohsogently to the left and grab the remote control.

the muscles tense and strain and almost pop out of my skin from all the barely restrained power i hold under tight control.

and i dont mind doing windows.

so cmon now. im on the rebound.

sorta.

this isnt me yo. this isnt me i see captured in the windows i pass by. this isnt me that stays awake at night. this isnt me that gets pushed to unhealthy limits by my own self. this isnt me you see here typing you see here loving without thought you see here half grinning.

this isnt me who closes my eyes to feel the breeze to smell the aromas to explode.

this isnt me who explodes.

look and look and look and there, hidden, there in the corner of your eyes, youll see me.

or maybe ill see myself.

finally.

i was attacked by a bird once. she went for my head.

i was ok. so was the bird.