this keyboard is a dell quietkey, but i sure as hell can hear myself type.

i was up incredibly early today (7 30 am buddy).

girl told me something that makes me ache because it shows i wasnt there for her. and she wont fully talk about it. which also sort of makes me hurt. i know if i asked she would, but i wont ask, because she doesnt want to.

she says it doesnt matter now if only because she would never do it again.

but it does matter.

its coming close to me telling her. its there, in the air. all that remains is me either gathering courage or her asking who it is.

if she asks, ill tell.

if she asked anything i'd tell.

that's not the truth. its more i would feel like i could tell her, and would want to tell her, but i would hold myself back only out of shame and such.

i havent taken my pill yet today. mainly because i havent had a chance to get a drink and i really don't want to... heh... dry throat it...

i want a fuzzy purple velvet shirt with semi poofy sleeves.

sunday, i believe, calls for shopping.

not for me. the girl, what with her going to boston in a week from today.

damn.

im such a damn fool sometimes, yo.

call me crazy, i just cant wait.

a little britney for you there.

so, yes, i enjoy how people feel comfortable enough to tell me, routinely, that their ass hurts. i also enjoy how i know of people's urinary schedule.

am i just that kind of person?

do you see me and go "hey, crayon's the kid i could go and talk about how my puss flows freely"?

i take it all as a compliment, i do, but this knowledge... i dont know.

i dont ask some friends about their sex life simply because i dont want to lose that pure image i have of them in my head.

i know we all do it. and the acts, themselves, i have no problem with (whatsoever. at all. trust me. heh.) but... i dont know. maybe i dont want to think of them grown up, old, bitter, hurt, anything like that.

im partly insane, yo.

call me crazy.