i proved that tonight.

so. yeah. i can catch flies with my barehand. but i'm a big fat asshole.

big fat fatty fat asshole.

and you know what? it's wrong that i feel like an asshole.

even if i am. i shouldnt feel this bad, should i?

she was in the wrong first, wasnt she?

god fucking dammit. i went overboard.

it felt warranted.

i feel like shit.

christ. if im going to be an asshole, why cant i be one of those assholes who doesnt care theyre an asshole?

and the god damn pride.

fuck it.

fuckin fuck it.

i apologize. my language and what not. but dammit.

you know, just once i would like to be wholly egotistical and not feel freakin bad about it.

just once i would like to turn to someone and go "you know, you're being a huge bitch right now and i could care a fuck less about you at this precise moment. you, right now, are dead to me."

and not be fazed.

christ on a fucking pogo stick.

it shouldnt weigh this much. it shouldnt have gotten to the point it got to. she shouldnt be such a damn brat.

she she she blah blah blah.

i'm immature.

i should apologize.

i cant apologize. i can never say im sorry. it's the whole ego thing.

but i should.

i'm going to. right now.