i... had something to say but i just lost it.

oh. yeah. later, after apologizing, the best kid ive ever met found a way to get me to tell what happened, which i had planned on not doing, not with her, cause i dont want her knowing i am a prideful asshole.

but after i told it, the walking away grumpy, the refusing to ride in the same car, the apology, she told me i deserved more than i let myself have.

and truth be told, i dont want much.

just a world where pirates are accepted as the true poetic geniuses that they are.

when i was seven i decided that if ever my leg or legs was or were amputated i would get a wooden leg. all fancy carved up like.

but i dont want a hook for a hand.

my friend, in fourth grade, had to wear an eye patch for a long long long long time.

my mom's dog, when he wants to eat, will go into the kitchen only if no one is in there. then he will take one piece into his mouth and walk out, in reverse, into the living room and eat it there. then repeat the whole process.

he's an insane dog.

he's a pomeranian.

i got a really fuzzy warm feeling today.

she told me she wanted to give me everything.

and yet... all i would really ever want from her is to just be able to sit there, next to her.

which happens to be the one thing she cant give.

funny how life works that way eh.

friend of mine found me when i had walked away pissed off.

friend is 6 freakin years younger than me, but damn if i dont appreciate her for everything shes done.

i want to be able to walk like chuck berry.

and like pee wee herman.

just not at the same time.

i'm gonna go, now, and make a tape for a friend.