when im going down any flight of stairs i like to sort of hop down onto the first step. hopping, i have found, is a good way of at least pretending im about to do something exciting, and getting hyped up for the end of the stairs, even if i just need to run down to kick a puppy.

i dont kick puppies. that was a joke.

full grown dogs, on the other hand...

and i enjoy ice cream bars. but see, i enjoy them mushy. so i get out a bar and i just lay it down and leave for a bit. more than once i have forgotten i had a bar out.

my cat enjoys mayonnaise. i have no idea why. whenever i have a bowl of mayo out (yes, i put mayo in a bowl sometimes) it's all i can do to keep the cat's fat fat face out of the bowl.

the cat doesn't have a fat fat face. it's actually quite slim and somewhat stubby.

when my first dog was still alive, five or six years ago... geeze, has he been gone that long?... when he was still alive and remade into an indoor dog i once gave him an orange highlight right in the middle of the top of his head. not highlight highlight, but like with a highlighter highlight. as in cliff notes (never used the suckers, ha!). no one ever noticed. not till i pointed it out.

my dog, before he became a born again indoor dog, was outdoors. but before that he was a... born indoor dog, i guess. he was an indoor dog just prior to my birth. he was a few months older than me. but yeah, after i was born he got jealous as all get out, because i was the first baby and blah blah blah. so he started peeing on my crib.

the legs of the crib, not actually standing in the crib...

so the parents made him an outside dog.

and then he became 16, deaf, part blind. we brought him in.

i made him a little bridge up to my bed.

swear, when he would join me and fall down to sleep, crushed a rib or two.

not that im saying he was a fat dog or anything.

just big boned.

he was a damn good dog.