So I'm almost done Christmas shopping and it's the first time ever that I haven't waited until like the week before Christmas, so there's that.

When will you ever learn?
When will you ever learn?

I'm putting myself out there, talking to different women, trying to fall into something new, trying to move forward and upward, but then I start thinking about kissing someone new and I feel like I'm cheating.

You look so young.
Have you ever been afraid?
You look so young.
And I'm feeling so ashamed.

My friend is suggesting I just go visit her (three, four states away) and just sleep with someone. I've never been the type, never been the kind, my heart's a little too soft, I... I don't know.

Fever
In the morning
All through the night.

And I get afraid of treating someone like a rebound. I get so afraid of that that I think I'm going to go forever between relationships just to prove it's not a rebound.

Fever started long ago.

Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet, she felt the same

It's been almost two years since we broke up. Two years in May. And I can't remember the last time I had sex.

Give me fever

I'm not the greatest looking kid out there, but I can make you laugh. I know I'm a fairly decent catch. I swerve between being overly confident and just.. you know, fairly confident, because shit son, I'm a hot piece of ass.

But how do you meet someone new?

We hit the bottom
thought it was my fault
in a way I guess it was

I don't go to bars (often) and I'm happy in the circles I'm in, but there's... I don't know. Someone just needs to grab me and say "you're a dummy, here I am."

I've been flying high all night
So come pick me up
I've landed.

So in my classes I'm talking more, walking people to their cars, finding ways to make them laugh, writing emails, and waiting for the new year. I'm pretty sure 2011 is going to be awesome.

I'm not going to rush into anything, but I will welcome whatever comes. I will move forward in my education and move further into whatever career I choose to. I will buy more, better, bigger Nerf guns and use them in mock army assaults in my living rooms.