And yeah, I'm kind of excited about this because a) I won't have to worry about what I have to wear to work, I'll just reach in the closet and grab the clean stuff and b) uniforms are cool.

I get my uniform tomorrow.

Boots and pants and shirts and a badge.

Then I get to go back to Nashville and see Kelly.

I will wear my uniform and she will want to jump me and I will be the model of resistance. I will say no, young lady, no! And she will pout. And I will give in, because when a lady pouts you must put out. It's written somewhere. Like a law. In the bible. In the Book of Ezemmundand.

She thinks I'm the best kisser ever (she's kissed a little over twice as many people as me) and I am modest so I say oh no, she's just had horrible kissers and my medicority seems stupendous next to them. Secretly, I have been scientifically tested and, yes, I am the best kisser ever. Something to do with my full, luscious lips and my strong cheek muscles. I don't know, I didn't read that issue of JAMA.

But I'm modest, so I don't let on to all of that in front of her.