| 2005-12-22
- 6:14 p.m. I feel like an asshole. I swing between feeling like I'm doing the right thing, and then I swing right back to feeling like a giant asshole. I told her to never talk to me again. And I hate that. A lot. I hate that I can't be there for her if she needed someone. And I think that, then think "if she needs someone, she's surrounding herself with all these friends. She'll go to them. She doesn't need me." And I think that really hurts, being that replacable. Knowing that there are fifteen million other people who would, in her mind, do just as well if not better than me. I'm not special anymore, I guess is what I'm trying to get at. I talked to her tonight and she said "I've realized how much I hurt you." And. Well. Yeah. But telling me that doesn't do anything. It doesn't change anything. The only thing you can do is prove to me that you care. Prove to me that I matter, that I'm important. If you know I go crazy about certain things, then work with me on that. Lord knows I've worked with you. But what it comes down to this: |
