That's all right. I've just got to be myself now. Find a way to make some people laugh.

I went out and had my early Christmas thing with the family today. It does me a lot of good, being out there. The mashed potato count? Three. Three times in all my life have they had mashed potatoes. Today was the third.

I love my family. I miss them, a lot. They're all so damn funny and great story tellers and just incredibly smart about so many different things. It's good to be up and around them.

I haven't talked to Amy since Friday. I believe this is the longest I've gone without talking to her since we started dating. It is weird. But, I think, for the best.

I don't want to know what she's doing, what she has been doing. I want to not care that she's going out and doing whatever she's doing. I want to not be jealous.

This is what I am afraid of:
I am afraid that she will realize she really does not need me (she doesn't, to be truthful) and I will no longer be a part of her life, at all.
Which, well. I won't be, at some point.

Blahblahblah. Same old crap, eh. Except this time there is a twist: I have to figure out what I am going to do with my life in a month's time. I am moving, but to where?

Oh ho ho, cliff hanger!

Also, I feel an overwhelming urge to support Amy for the next 6 months or so. Pay rent and utilities and whatever for her. Mainly because she recently quit her job for a lot of little reasons, topped off with me telling her not to worry about money, I'd pay for everything. Plus she recently went in debt to purchase a car and I feel slightly responsible for that. So now I have to figure out how to pay two of everything.
Two rents. Two utilities. Two blahblahblah.
Already have two jobs.
Looks like a third is in the future.