it's incredibly, stupendously short.

shorter than it's been in thirteen, fourteen years.

i walked out, got on the phone, tried to put my hair behind my ear.

and i couldn't.

and i started to freak out. just a little.

speaking of freaking out, i am too old for state fairs.

i went to one this past weekend.

not only is my stomach not as solid as it once was (unless, of course, i'm competing against someone, then i'll spin myself dizzy buddy!), but i've seen too many real tv videos.

we went on one ride, amy and her brother and i, and i was all upside down fifty million feet above the ground and i thought "yeah, this barrier will pop open and i'll just have to use my incredible arm strength to keep me securely in this machine. then i'll get out and be pissed off and then i'll yell at them about letting my moneymaker dangle loose. oh, wait, are my keys falling out?"

i also really don't like go-carts because they're crazy unsafe.

however, it was only a few months ago i saw a commercial where a guy drove off of a dock, and i was really jealous of him.

because i want that job.

i just don't want to drive go-carts.

i go through more training tomorrow, will be filmed and et al, and i don't want to do it, because, well, that whole embarassment factor plus the fact i really just want to sell.

but i know this might, probably, just improve my performance.

but my performance aint never got a complaint yet!

ha ha ha!