crazy musical instrument between the shoulder blades. it fits her, and well.

it makes her an offical band geek, which made me laugh. mayhap i even giggled a tiny bit.

today she left for a town two hundred miles away.

they always seem to do that, don't they? seem to up and leave, seem to put distance between the two of us.

this time, though, she wants me to follow. she wants me to be with her, no matter where she is or what she's doing.

she looks at me and says it hurts, the way i stare at her. says that she's never been looked at that way.

she'll start laughing, curled up in my arms, turn her head just so to look up at me with her eyes squinted just so and her lips in that damn second-stopping smile she has, and she's just beautiful.

and i want to make her laugh again and again, to give her whatever makes her feel that way to make her smile that way again.

with time to kill (because i didnt work today) i came back to my parents house. i cleaned up the room my stuff is in, got rid of a lot of stuff, four bags, one bag of clothing, and i still have three more boxes of junk i need to lovingly downsize.

i miss her. i miss the comfort of waking up, mid-night, to her in bed, next to me, close to me, pushing me toward the edge.