i would sit in the car and work out formulas in my head, when i was eight or nine.

adding, subtracting, trying to find patterns in sets of numbers.

i loved prime numbers, numbers that couldn't be disected any further. they just were.

and that led me to loving the number 1. 1 and 0. because every prime number, it's still has 1 in it. factor it out: 3 is 1 and 3, 5 is 1 and 5, 11 is 1 and 11.

1 is simplest and purest of all the simple and pure things.

this, though, isn't what i wanted to talk about. this is:

i've worked out a formula that tells me what my dream girl is. i took all the elements of all the girls i've ever loved, gave them a variable, simplified it, distilled that down to it's purest form.

and behold, my dream girl:

{(q minus m) over three} y.

ah ha haha, i'm just kidding.

i have noticed trends in the women i date and / or like and who are recipocal in their feelings toward me.

they have all bent more toward science than literature. and while i didn't realize how much i liked talking to literature people until i argued with heather about the strength of allen ginsberg, i would rather date someone who could talk to me about golgi apparatus.

ideally, though, her heart would be somewhere in the science, but she could still hold her on in a conversation about southern writers.

also, the women i like have this almost uncontrollable urge to pull this big power switch at my old job.

we dont know what it does, but damn if they don't want to shut the power off to something just to find out.

so, really, the perfect girl for me knows the difference between transcription and transposing and then will push an unmarked button "just to see".

this is what i need to do tonight:

buy a toothbrush.

buy soap.

buy something to drink.

eat.

dance naked on my bed.