i haven't told many people this, but i've been looking into teaching english as a second language in foreign countries.

i've sent resumes to brazil, japan, taiwan. i was in the process of sending one out to south korea (much to my mom's dismay) and greece.

i didn't really expect anything to come out of it. it was more... it...

back when emily and i were talking, i had thought about this, and she said that the job was perfect for me. that it would be something i could really delve into, which is what i do with all the jobs i've had.

i had all these fantasies in my head. and after emily stopped talking to me, most of the fantasies ended with me coming back to the states, stopping in arizona, seeing emily, and birds singing and flowers blossoming because i'm stupid. and foolish.

but i didn't think anything would ever come from it. i half mentioned it to my family over dinner one night. just to let them know. and my mom was against it.

my dad, though, he said "you know, it could be a good idea."

and my mom hit him.

THE POINT i'm trying to reach is this:

i think i just got hired.

to work in brazil.

near a beach.

in BRAZIL.

IN SOUTH AMERICA.

teaching english to teenagers. learning portuegese for free.

which would bring the total number of languages i can half ass understand up to four.

part of me is thinking what the hell are you doing, going to brazil?

part of me is imagining the days off, taking the bus down to the beach. going to rio. travelling south america.

and then my mom's in my head saying "disease and the heat and those guerillas" and i'm all "oh mom, i'm invincible, you know that."

i. have. a job. in brazil.

and you know what's damn cool about that?

that after i heard i might have been hired i thought "after brazil i can teach in taiwan."

WHAT THE HELL!

i almost 22. and here i am getting these incredible chances to go around the world, teaching a language i love, seeing and meeting people and living.

how the fuck lucky is that?

and how the fuck much do i wish i could tell emily?

a lot.

but, instead, i'm going to start calling other people.

my sister.

the girl.