i could fall forever and no one would stop me. no one would say hey, kid, cut it out. no one would know.

i could disappear.

its all so easy, it seems, in my head.

a call, every now and again, to the parents.

an update, here, every now and again.

and no one would know.

i could be drunk, puking every night, falling asleep against the cool tiles of the bathroom floor, and no one would ever be the wiser.

but the fucking thing is i would have to stand up at one point. id have to stand and look in the mirror. look in my eyes.

look and see the damn scrap of me that's left.

the damn little tiny bit of me that they loved, still hanging on.

drowning in whomever i've become. becoming. trying to be. trying to change to so i dont feel this way.

so i dont just hurt anymore.

but that part of me, that little tiny flapping skin of me, it will be there, in my eyes.

and it'll make me start to cry, you see?

make me cry and i'll just find myself on the bathroom floor again, sobbing.

because fucking god, look at what ive become, look at what ive resorted to.

look at how fucking empty inside i am.